Wendy Osefo Is Our Patron Saint Of Cool Nerds

Wendy Osefo excuse me, Dr. Wendy Osefo, Ph.D. is smart.

Not just because of her famed four degrees . Or because of her careers in political punditry, academia and now hosting with her new YouTube show . But because shes done the work. Shes a dutiful daughter of Nigerian heritage, and literally wrote the book on it . Its why her choice to not just enter but stick it out in Bravos Real Housewives of Potomac engaging in what I call high-stakes femininity (more on that later) is so interesting. 

The popular show, now in its eighth season, follows the lives of well-connected women in the Washington, D.C., Maryland and Virginia area (a.k.a., the DMV). This current season has taken a turn for the ridiculous as Osefo has begun to butt heads with the shows newbie and sole other Nigerian-American cast member, Nneka Ihim, who inserted a problematic storyline involving voodoo, implied witchcraft and shrines that has dragged on for more than five tiresome episodes.

The viewers mostly hate it .

Shamira Ibrahim, who recaps the series for Vulture, summed it up like this, All of this is very disappointing, and I am not looking forward to seeing it continue to play out.

But none of this was new for Osefo.

[Before joining Housewives,] I was under the impression that these people knew they had these issues, and it was exposed, said Osefo in an interview with HuffPost. What I didnt know was if you dont have issues, one will be created for you.

For Osefo, rumors on gossip blogs became storylines, no matter how flimsy: from made-up murmurs about her husband having a side baby to accusations that same husband was flirting simply because hed smiled at people, thus earning him the title Happy Eddie.

(A good sport, Osefo and her husband laughed off these allegations, and then turned the moniker into brand of marijuana hes selling .)

Gossip of the real and mythological kind is currency on RHOP in the same way it was at your local high school, where the popular clique is scrutinized by both the plebes and each other. In fact, think of how in high school, things like good grades or punctuality may not have been valued very much, but things like having a boyfriend, a hot body, and the latest designer digs did. This is the junior varsity version of high-stakes femininity.

Meanwhile, the housewives are players in the pro football network of traditional (or retrograde) feminine values and practices. Think of femme personhood reduced to its most basic, oft stereotypical tendencies. Jealousy. Cat fights. Shade . (Or good ol fashioned insults.) 

In the world of Real Housewives, and especially on Real Housewives of Potomac, everything is reduced to a womans man/clothes/house the three most prized possessions on a franchise named for being a woman, who is also a wife, and has a home either what she has on her own or with her partner. Digs are thrown at things like renting, looking tacky, overweight, and/or unattractive or being single and childless, which feels antiquated in how the real world actually operates. 

Thats definitely how high school works or used to work, as films like Heathers, Easy A and Mean Girls can attest. You could be banished for things like being perceived as promiscuous or being perceived as a prudish bore or, in my case back in the 1990s, wearing Payless no-name tennis shoes instead of Nikes.

When I was coming on the show, I was like, man, some of these women not on my franchise, but on other franchises theyre like, multi-millionaires. They have these multiple homes. They do all of these things, and where am I in my life? I didnt come with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nor did I marry a gazillionaire, Osefo said. He was in law school and I was getting my Ph.D. We were in school together. We came up together. And I was like, what do I have to offer this show aside from being the first Nigerian housewife in franchise history?

What she had to offer was something rarely seen in our youth or on Housewives a cool nerd.

One thing that I wish I always saw growing up was a nerd. I wish I saw a popular nerd to let me know its cool to read books, Osefo said. Because sometimes even when I watch what my kids watch, its like youre either popular or youre a nerd. Media always portrays it like its one or the other. No, you can be a popular nerd. And for me, thats what I was.

Growing up, Osefo was a nerd at home, but a popular girl in school. This duality served young Osefo well in navigating the treacherous waters of teen girlhood, but over time, it became problematic, as she found herself balancing two very different identities. 

I was part of the cool girls, but I always did my work, Osefo said. I was the cool girl, but I never hung out outside of school. Not because the opportunity wasnt presented, but because I never even got the chance to get the opportunity to be presented, she said, referencing her strict mother.

I navigated it by being two faces in a weird way. Like, were cool, we hang out, we talk about stuff. I go home, I do my work. I go home, I watch Jeopardy. I go home, and I am focused on what I need to do.

Much like high school, to survive this Housewives world, women like Osefo have to ask themselves: Am I an attractive, dainty yet demanding diva who may or may not be an expert at literature but can swiftly and succinctly read another person? Do I go for a pop of color in a monochromatic look? Can I glue on my lashes and apply a winged eyeliner with efficiency? Whats the inside of my home like, if I have a home or four homes ?

If I am thrown to the proverbial wolves of high-stakes femininity (aka the world of beauty pageants, prayer circles, womens media and fashion, sororities, Lipstick Alley , ladies who lunch and The Kardashians), do I return leading the pack, as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum Lisa Vanderpump once said?

Or do I become dog food? 

Its just a different game at this level. But Osefo is no fool. She can play it.

I said to myself, No, Im not going to stay here and talk about having million-dollar homes, she said. But what I will talk about is my four degrees, because what I know to be true is while you guys might have financial currency, I have educational currency, and yours will leave you when you are six feet under. I will take my brain with me when Im six feet under, so my currency actually has more weight than yours. So tote your cars, tote your money. Im toting my degrees.