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Posted: 2022-04-20T17:31:00Z | Updated: 2022-04-20T17:31:00Z Funny Tweets About Kids' Bedtime Excuses | HuffPost Life

Funny Tweets About Kids' Bedtime Excuses

"No one has more s**t on their to-do list than a kid whos just been told its bedtime."

No one is better at filibustering than a child at bedtime. 

It’s at that precise time that kids need to find the answer to a very obscure question or take inventory of all their stuffed animals. Naturally, they also must get a very large glass of water and use the potty numerous times — all in the name of pushing their bedtime later and later.

To find the humor in this nightly frustration, the funny moms and dads of Twitter frequently share their kids’ stall tactics of choice. We’ve rounded up 30 relatable tweets from parents about the many reasons why their children simply cannot go to bed just yet. 

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Before You Go

33 Ways To Refresh Your Home For Spring
Use vacuum bags to make room in your closets(01 of33)
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Promising review for hanging vacuum bags: "Bought these storage bags two weeks ago to pack my winter clothes for summer, and they did the job perfectly. They are large and sturdy. I like its five-hook design. I can store five women's jackets or four big men's jackets in ONE bag. The long bags also fit my dresses. The biggest reason I bought these bags is that I do not need to fold my seasonal clothes; just hang, zip, vacuum, done! Super convenient. Extremely happy with this space bags. I will definitely order more!" Jia Yan

Promising review for non-hanging vacuum bags: "These bags are freaking great. My fianc and I recently moved from a two-bed/two-bath to a one-bed/one-bath. We lost a lot of storage space and didn't want to get rid of our guest bedding when we are planning to buy a house within the next year. We use the jumbo and large bags for our guest linens/extras. I think the medium bags could come in handy for packing luggage for extended trips back home." Kyra

Get them from Amazon: a four-pack of hanging bags for $28.99+ (available in four colors) and a 15-pack of regular bags for $18.67 .
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Swap out your heavy curtains for lighter curtains(02 of33)
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Get this curtain from Amazon for $30.99+ per panel (available in two lengths and four patterns). (credit:Amazon)
Refinish tired metal furniture with some rust-stopping spray paint(03 of33)
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Promising review: "I used this Gloss White to paint an old garden arch, gate and a trellis over a garden bench. It was just a dreary, tired black; the white changed the look and feel instantly. Definitely get the trigger grip accessory if your project takes more than one can mine was eight cans and that grip was a great idea.The paint is a true bright white with a bit of a shine after it dries. I did have to do two full coats to completely cover the original black wrought iron, but there's no color bleed through as a result." Dogs & Horses

Get it from Amazon for $19.99+ (available in a variety of metallic colors).
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String up waterproof globe lights(04 of33)
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Reviewers note that you should remove the bulbs before stringing up the strands and then reinstall them.

Promising review: "These lights were perfect for my patio, I've received plenty of compliments so far. The Edison light bulbs and beautiful and offer the perfect amount of lighting for any occasion...the clips were ideal for my eaves, the overhang of the roof, which made for simple installation...now just need to find a dimmer capable of handling the required wattage and the package will be complete." Brody Vins

Get a strand from Amazon for $16.95+ (available in three styles and lengths).
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Snag a lighted, tilted umbrella(05 of33)
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Promising review: "I normally dont like buying products like this sight unseen, but Im very pleased with the look and especially with the solar lighting. We enjoyed a pleasant evening on the deck with just the right amount of ambient light tonight, and we are hopeful that it will prove to be durable." Dee Williams

Get it from Amazon for $71.99 (available in 11 color combos).
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Pull up weeds with a standing weeder(06 of33)
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Made with a bamboo handle and powder-coated steel, it uses a simple lever system to made weeding easy.

Promising review: "Oh my god, I friggin' love this tool. I bought this on a whim given we bought our first house and know nothing about caring for a yard. Boy has it come in handy. Our new house had a ton of weeds in the front yard and this tool helped me get most of them out in no time. In fact, the process of yanking out the weed was strangely satisfying! I don't think anyone can say that weeding is fun but this tool made it as close to fun as you can get, especially when you see a long root along with the weed you pulled." JG

Get it on Amazon for $39.99 .
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Clean your mattresses(07 of33)
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Promising review: "I suffer from allergies due to dust among other things, so someone recommended RAYCOP to me and so far after only two weeks I can really feel a difference. The dust pic I posted is after using it on my couch, mind you my couch already looked clean but I wanted see what would happen. I was a bit surprised at the amount of debris the RAYCOP was able to pick up. I thought I would dislike having a power cord but it is a nice supple long cord that doesn't ruin the experience. It has powerful suction, solid build quality, and is easy to use. it is also easy to clean, so I definitely feel like I am getting a quality cleansing of dust and dirt every time. I feel like it is a solid investment in my health wellness as my sneezing and headaches have minimized since using." primo navidad

Get it from Amazon for $183.99 .
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Kick blinds to the curb with window film(08 of33)
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Promising review: "I have a weird skinny window in my house where no normal window covering works. People walking on our community trail can see up into our upstairs bathroom when the light is on and it's dark outside. Not a good plan at all. So I used this window film and cut different-sized circles and placed then on this window to interrupt the view into the house. Worked perfectly! Very easy to use." Marsgard

Get it from Amazon for $9.98+ (available in ten sizes).
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Install an automatic bleach toilet cleaning system(09 of33)
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It's super quick to install, and one cartridge can last up to three months!

Promising review: "I've installed these in all six toilets in my home and they are a great idea. I've been using this for about four to five years. This device circulates bleach product into the toilet bowl after every flush, where it is needed to prevent staining such as water lines from calcium buildup. The chlorine water is restricted to the bowl, not the tank. If chlorine is in the tank it will erode away the flapper and foam seal which separates the tank from the bowl, requiring more expensive repairs. This product solves that problem with no drawbacks and don't look unsightly like the clamp-on bars of chlorine that are permanently inside the bowl." Dr. D123

Get it from Amazon for $9.97 .
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Add an outdoor rug(10 of33)
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Promising review: "Love this rug. These were recommended by a friend for use on my outdoor patio. They are terrific. So easy to clean and no matter what the weather brings, they always look fantastic. And they make my outdoors look like a living room. Great, inexpensive way to spruce up a backyard." Miami

Get it from Amazon for $61+ (available in four colors and sizes).
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Install a leafy green privacy screen(11 of33)
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Promising review: "This is the second privacy screen I've purchased from Amazon. I have an area in my garden visible from the street. The screen hides all my gardening stuff (i.e. wheelbarrow, buckets, etc.). It truly looks like the real deal!!!" soooz

Get a 94-by-39-inch roll from Amazon for $44.99 .
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Swap out old cracked wood cutting boards for fresh ones.(12 of33)
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Get this set of three boards from Amazon for $26.95 . (credit:Amazon)
Let a power washer do the hard work in reviving hard outdoor surfaces(13 of33)
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Just note that you need to be careful on wood when using a pressure washer because it can be too intense!

Promising review: "I love this washer. It competes with my 2,200-psi gas-powered pressure washer, which in fact I sold to keep this. But doesn't have the noisy gas engine or the heavy weight. Easy to move around, lightweight, and has great power. Very quiet. I love all the attachments and the different stream types. The soap dispenser works well. I'm cleaning everything, my deck, my house, the garage doors, the concrete slab. It takes off all the dirt and mold from the old concrete stairs and sidewalk." Tim S.

Get it from Amazon for $159.
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Rig up a sunshade triangle(14 of33)
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Promising review: "My pool is awesome when it gets into the hundreds of degrees here in California. We decided to grab a 20x20x20 triangle and holy cow does it do a number on the backyard! Not only does it keep my pool better-shaded, but it also keeps the sun off of my back patio during the hottest part of the day." Amazon customer

Get it from Amazon for $23.99+ (available in 6 sizes and 13 colors).
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Clean out your coffee machine with K-Cup cleaning pods(15 of33)
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Promising review: "I bought this product because the needle in my Keurig 2.0 keeps clogging causing inconsistent brew and taste. These cleaning cups fixed both of my issues and especially liked that it was really quick and easy to use I put the cleaning pod in and ran one cycle, then took the pod out and ran a rinse cycle to clean out any leftover grinds. FAST, EASY, and GREAT resultsVERY HAPPY!!" Corey West

Get a six-pack from Amazon for $9.95 .
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Stick on some magnetic grill lights(16 of33)
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Why isn't every grill equipped with these from the factory?

Promising review: "This was a surprise for my husband. He loves them. The lights are nice and bright and make grilling those last few things that didn't get finished before dark hot. He's also used them early in the morning when he's setting the smoker up before dawn. He's happy and finding them very useful. He especially loves the magnet on bottom so he can hang them off of so many things while he's busy and he can use the flexibility to shine them where he needs them. Very awesome and easy to use." Holly Gomez

Get two from Amazon for $21.99 .
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Clean lint from deep within your dryer(17 of33)
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Also, built-up lint is a fire hazard! Make this a part of your weekly cleaning routine.

Promising review: "This is exactly the same type as the one used by the appliance repairman who repaired my dryer last week, easy to use inside the dryer filter holder as well as the outside vent." ab

Get it from Amazon for $6.95 .
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Refresh the cleaning power of your dishwasher(18 of33)
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Promising review: "After using this product, I am happy to report that my $5 investment saved me over $500. I was ready to replace my dishwasher due to super cloudy glasses, residue, and dishes just not getting clean. Then, I became aware that the water softener was no longer doing its job so I had the rental company replace it. Dishwasher performance improved somewhat. I decided to do two more loads before deciding to purchase a new one. Then I saw a product test review for Affresh. I was ordering some stuff from Amazon anyway so I added that to my order. When it came, I tossed one of the tablets into the bottom of the full machine per the instructions and ran the regular cycle. I did not expect the results I got! The glassware that I thought was permanently etched and ruined came out like new. Same with cutlery. The difference is unbelievable. I will use this faithfully every month, as recommended. I can even put it on my subscribe and save order so I will get a new pack every six months. I am amazed!" Sheila

Get them from Amazon for $8.99 .
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Lighten up your living room furniture on the cheap with some slipcovers(19 of33)
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Promising review: "Before and after putting it on. I couldnt be happier. This chair has been through and lot and I just wasnt ready to pry with it. The cover was easy to put in and so soft." Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $28.99 (available in 19 solid colors).

Also check out a some dining chair slipcovers and a velvet slipcover for your couch in case that's more your style.
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Bring the beach to your home with shell pillows(20 of33)
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Promising review: "Wow. This pillow is so beautiful. I seriously can't stop looking at it, the color is so vibrant." Jackie

Get it from Amazon for $17.99 (available in 14 colors).
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Dress up a space with some peel-and-stick wallpaper(21 of33)
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This removable wallpaper is self-adhesive so you don't have to worry about using pastes or glues, and is repositionable for easy installation.

Promising review (for left): "Huge fan of this wallpaper. Its very easy to install and looks super cute. I put this up in our half bath and it looks very impressive. Pattern is easy to match up." Katie Currid

Get a roll from Amazon for $29.49+ (available in six colors).
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Invest in an indoor-friendly hammock chair(22 of33)
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Promising review: "If I had to pick one product to stand by for all of eternity, it would be this swing. First of all, its darling. We could start and end with its Anthro-Free People vibe alone. But those websites would sell it for an amount comparable to your mortgage and this little number is so ridiculously reasonable, its almost wasteful not to buy it. You can buy a pair and not be stuck slurping ramen for the rest of the month. Also, this swing is like therapy. But cheaper. Pop in some ear buds, hop in, close your eyes and swing. YPhone ringing? Kids yelling? House on fire? Whatever. Youre swinging." Sincerely Becca

Get it from Amazon for $88.89 .
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Upgrade your kitchen with a peel-and-stick faux-gel tile backsplash(23 of33)
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Promising review: "We did a kitchen facelift this summer, repainting and making everything look fresh. We were looking at The Home Depot version of these, which are more than double the price. We decided to go for these instead and they are amazing!! I put them up myself in about two hours. I did buy the adhesive spray just in case but it wasnt needed, even for the few I had to peel off and re-stick to center correctly. These arent too difficult to apply but definitely require patience. It is 100% worth the buy for a DIY affordable update!" Hope Consilvio

Get a 10-pack from Amazon for $29.99 .
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Add some game-changing ceiling fan pulls(24 of33)
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Promising review: "I love these little pull chains. Not only do they make it easier to pull, but finally there is no guessing which chain goes with what. They are so cute and made really well. There is actually a nice weight to them and they are much more durable/sturdy that the pic makes them look. I was pleasantly surprised when they came and I would highly recommend them to everyone who needs a little length and help finding the right chain. :)" SBrain

Get them from Amazon for $17.27+ .
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Prevent drafts and more with a threshold kit(25 of33)
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The kit includes a 10' vinyl seal and tube of silicone adhesive.

Promising review:
"I couldn't be more pleased with this product. It was installed easily and firmly and stopped rainwater and rodents from entering my garage immediately. There was plenty of adhesive for the job and it worked great. I applied the adhesive to the rubber strip and then my wife helped me turn it over into place." walleyeslayer

Get it from Amazon for $43.80 .
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Try an oil stain remover(26 of33)
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Promising review: "Changed the oil on my girlfriend's car and some oil spilled on my NEW driveway...which I didn't notice 'til four days later. Four spots all about the size of a dollar bill baking in the Arizona sun for four days. Found this searching on Amazon and I thought, whatever. That's one less vodka soda tonight for dinner. Put the stuff on (sits on the stain like pancake batter don't be afraid to pour liberally) and let it sit from 6 p.m. 'til about 9 a.m. the next day. It dried and the instructions said to just sweep the stuff up (right, like I am not going to need a scraper and wire scrub pad for an hour. HA). Well it broke apart with the broom and the stains were gone, just swept up the powder pieces took about a minute. I WAS SHOCKED! Something that actually works on oil and it's easy. Absolutely NO sign of anything that was there. My driveway is smooth concrete so I can't vouch for what would happen with a rougher surface but whoever makes this stuff is a genius. If they tried to take on World Peace, Earth would be a better place." AmazonBob

Get it from Amazon for $16.97 .
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Employ a rust stain-removing gel(27 of33)
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Promising review: "I. AM. Shook! The previous tenant kept this apartment NASTY. I moved in the day he moved out and was scrubbing this nasty drain for months to no avail. I let this sit for an hour and came back just to peek and wow. The difference is crazy. Now I feel better about taking baths in my own home. Amazing. I give 9/10 because the instructions say rub lightly. I tried that way first and almost thought it was a dub (Meaning it wouldnt work lol) But it definitely worked after letting it sit." Julia R.

Get it from Amazon for $15.98 .
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Remove stubborn rings(28 of33)
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Promising review: "OMG!!! It works!!! After having this toilet buildup I gave up on everything, but I saw that this product 'worked' and decided to give it a try... with a little elbow grease and some music blasting in the background I managed to remove it all!!! I cant believe it. Im so happy, I was so embarrassed when company came over and would see that, not no more... yay!!!" Asdrubal Orantes

Get it from Amazon for $11.15 .
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Make your AC blend in more with a vinyl privacy screen(29 of33)
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Promising review: "OMG I Love it! I have a horrible utility box from my electricity provider, and every morning the first thing I used to see as a view on my back patio was that. Now I can enjoy my coffee!!!" VOLT EP

Get two from Amazon for $90.99 .
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Get at that pet stain with a Bissell SpotBot(30 of33)
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This portable carpet cleaner will spray, brush, and suction up any stain, no adult supervision needed. It also comes with a hose and tool attachment if you'd prefer a more hands-on cleaning session.

Promising review: "I have two cats (ages 16 and 8), one dog, a 5-year-old kid, and several other dogs on occasion (I pet sit and board dogs). I have needed to rent a carpet cleaner at least twice a year since I can remember. No longer! The SpotBot has revolutionized cleaning in our household. It is ridiculously easy and fast! The best part is that I barely have to touch anything gross anymore. I always pick up the larger chunks first, but I let the SpotBot do the rest and all I have to do is follow-it up with a good dump and rinse. A single spot takes less than five minutes to clean depending on the setting used and your competency (again, super easy to set up and use). I've had good experience on the stairs and the upholstery using the wand as well." Rainbow Chicken

Get it from Amazon for $179.99 .
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Or use a carpet cleaning solution with impressive results(31 of33)
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It's from a family-run small business that specializes in cleaning products, especially ones for homes with pets!

Promising review: "After reading the reviews I thought I could at least try it, and holy smokes, this is a miracle cleaner!!! I think I have tried every cleaner on the market for pet stains and nothing ever really works on my carpets. Even if I get it off the top, it somehow comes back up. My crazy dogs hate the rain and they have one spot that they always go on when they decide they are not going outside. I have cleaned the spot probably 100 times. I cleaned this area one time with this cleaner and my spot steam cleaner and it is completely gone! The stain and smell are 100% gone, not just covered up like before, completely and absolutely gone. Miracle cleaner for sure!" PLLane

Get it from Amazon for $19.97 .
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Invest in a wood polish and conditioner(32 of33)
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Promising review: "This stuff is absolutely AMAZING. My wife and I were getting tired of looking at our worn-out cabinets and wood paneling and were very close to paying a professional thousands of dollars to refinish it all, but then we came across this product. Our paneling and cabinets were looking rough. We have two dogs who jumped up and scratched places, we also had an area that was damaged by water spots where our dog bowls were, and several other areas that were just worn from heavy traffic. This stuff was like a Magic Eraser for water spots, scratches, scuffs, and any other blemish. We simply wiped the product on with a paper towel and let it sit for 20 minutes before wiping it off with a clean towel. Everything looks brand new. I'm buying a couple more so we can finish our cabinets and wood paneling. We're so glad we found this product." Kris

Get it from Amazon for $11.97+ .
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Address bare spots in your lawn with some dog spot repair(33 of33)
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Promising review: We purchased this to fill some patches in our backyard that were damaged by our puppy. Works like a charm. The one caveat is that you really do have to water it a bit every day. Once it takes off though, it grows pretty quickly! Within one week of planting this, we had 1-inch long grass blades. One month later, all the patches are gone. Highly recommended! Jessica N.

Get it from Amazon for $16.97 (available in five sizes).
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