Youre Such A Dick: Jon Stewart Tells Tucker Carlson How He Really, Truly Feels

Daily Show host Jon Stewart spent most of his opening monologue tearing into online video personality Tucker Carlson over his fawning interview with Russian leader Vladimir Putin . 

Stewart tried to come up with a description of Carlsons face as he sat through Putins lengthy speeches. 

Its not really a straight face so much as you try to convey a mixture of what appears to be shame, arousal and Im gonna say irregularity, Stewart observed. For instance, like youre constipated while jerking off to a Sears catalogue. 

Carlson, who has admitted to lying  on his show when he was on Fox News , was so docile during the interview that even Putin later complained, saying he didnt enjoy it because he thought it would be tougher. 

Carlson also filmed segments around Moscow, where he bragged about the cleanliness of train stations and praised the supermarkets. As he pushed a shopping cart around a grocery store, Carlson took a dig at homeless Americans. 

I know Ive said this before: Youre such a dick, Stewart fired back. Really, truly, like a dick. 

Carlson also feigned outrage when his supermarket bill came to $104, which he estimated would cost about $400 in the United States. Carlson claimed the price difference radicalized him against American leaders.

Radicalized! Stewart repeated. And it will radicalize you unless you understand basic economics. See, $104 for groceries sounds like a great bargain unless you realize Russians earn less than $200 a week. 

Stewart tore into Carlson for failing to provide that basic context. 

But heres the reality, he said. You fucking know all this because you arent as dumb as your face would have us believe.

Check it out in his Monday night monologue: