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Posted: 2017-04-13T07:09:56Z | Updated: 2017-04-13T17:36:34Z Asia Kate Dillon Talks Discovering The Word Non-Binary: 'I Cried' | HuffPost

Asia Kate Dillon Talks Discovering The Word Non-Binary: 'I Cried'

Feeling ambiguous about my gender identity has been a life long feeling.
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Asia Kate Dillon

Asia Kate Dillons always felt ambiguous about their gender. While they stopped using gendered pronouns a couple of years ago (originally opting for just their name, they now prefer they, them, and theirs), it wasnt until Asia auditioned for the TV show, Billions, that they discovered the word, non-binary.

They describe the moment as, an explosion in my mind.

Asia eventually booked the role of Taylor on Billions, the first character on TV to self-identify as gender non-binary; this also makes Asia the first openly gender non-binary actor on TV. Both are exciting milestones for the LGBTQ community, especially for non-binary people who are largely unrepresented in mainstream media.

When we talked , Asia acknowledged that we still have a lot of work to do when it comes to the representation and acceptance of non-binary people of color, and they began by expressing their curiosity surrounding the different gender labels:

Asia Kate Dillon: When I looked up the word non-binary, it said, An umbrella term for any number of gender identities falling outside the boxes of man and woman. Then it also said, Some people may refer to this as gender fluid or genderqueer.

Id done research into the term genderqueer and Im still in the processes of trying to figure out if that word is okay to use or not, actually. Ive read one side that says, Yeah, genderqueer just means youre queer with your gender and its not a big deal. Ive also read that its a derogatory term that the younger generation doesnt want to use any more.

JM: Oh, really?

AKD: I will literally say right now, I dont know much about it. Im in the process of researching that myself. I do say gender fluid, because I experience my gender identity as being fluid because its on a spectrum.

JM: I actually hear the exact reverse, where the younger generation is more okay with genderqueer.

AKD: Oh, interesting. The word non-binary, to me, opens the conversation in a way that hasnt been opened before. I think a lot of peoplethere was a time when I thought this waythought transgender meant someone who had transitioned, right?

I think that its important to say that trans people exist, and we are valid, whether we choose to transition or not. Its really up to anyone to decide what is going to make them feel the most like themselves.

JM: You mentioned looking up the word, non-binary. When was that?

AKD: When I got the character breakdown for Taylor on Billions. It said, among other things, female non-binary. I thought, Female and non-binary...arent those the same thing? I really didnt understand. I looked up both of those words, and I thought, Oh my gosh. Okay, female, thats an assigned sex. That was the sex I was assigned at birth. Non-binary is a gender identity. Gender identity and anatomical assigned sex are different. It was like...an explosion in my mind.

JM: That is so recent.

AKD: Yeah, me feeling ambiguous about my gender identity has been a life long feeling, certainly. A couple of years ago I started removing gendered pronouns from my bios and things like that, replacing it with my name. That was the beginning of me really understanding that I had autonomous control over my identity, but it wasnt until I came across the word non-binary, and looked it up, that I went, Thats the word. Theres actually a word for it.

JM: Thats huge.

AKD: Yeah, I cried.

JM: Its from the least likely resource, a casting breakdown.

AKD: Its from a script written by two white, straight, cisgender men that happened to come my way. My agents know I want to audition for projects that are supporting and uplifting for historically marginalized and disenfranchised people. When this character came my way, not only was Taylor a fully fleshed out queer character in this world, but then the non-binary thing. It just hit home so hard.

JM: These labels are new, but people who have been gender non-conforming have always existed.

AKD: Totally, I mean, its one of the things Im so fascinated by recently. Im really interested in going back in to the history of non-binary people, and seeing how many people in history were non-binary, but that didnt know it themselves, or because we didnt have the language, couldnt talk about it. I know how that felt being a young person not having that language.

I think, this idea that trans people bring to the surface, that assigned sex and gender identity dont always conform, the idea that your anatomy doesnt make your gender anything other than what you decide that it is, is profound for anyone to realize.

JM: As youve come to understand how you experience your gender, has that changed who youre attracted to?

AKD: No, not at all. Well, from the time I came to understand sex and sexual orientation, and all of that, Ive identified as pansexual and Ive always felt like I had the spiritual, emotional, physical capability of being attracted to any gender.

JM: Theres no where else to go from there, I guess.

AKD: Yeah. Theres no where else to go. Im there.

Its also important for me to say that as someone who was assigned female at birth, and is white, I think my message of gender as a spectrum is certainly received better than people who are assigned male at birth and are people of color. We still have this ideal that non-binary only means white, hairless, androgynous people.

I think theres room for every body type, every type of expression, but as were aware, theres so much work to be done in terms of the trans, non-binary community when it comes to people of color.

We have a lot of work to do. Im grateful and Im excited, and I have a lot of hope.

This interview has been edited and condensed. The full LGBTQ&A interview is available on iTunes or YouTube .

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