When I was a kid I wanted to be a marine biologist. My kids want to be famous for opening Easter eggs on YouTube.

— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) September 26, 2016

When I was a kid, your richest friends had cable TV, an air hockey machine and ice that came out of the refrigerator door.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 3, 2017

Primary school kids have iphones. Man when i was their age i used to spread PVA glue on my hands, wait for it to dry and peel it off.

— SKRILLR (@SkrillerZiller) March 22, 2018

Kids these days with their YouTube and their Google.
When I was a kid, adults told us complete bullshit and we were just grateful that we didnt have to go the library to use the encyclopedia.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 9, 2018

Just blew my preschooler's mind by telling him we didn't have Netflix when I was a kid.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) April 12, 2015

Son when I was a kid, we didn't have iphones and video games, we had to use our imaginations. It really sucked.

— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) November 15, 2014

Son, when I was a kid, no one ever got in trouble for being on their phone. Instead we got in trouble for making balls out of rubber cement.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 14, 2016

When I was a kid, I had no idea what to do with my life

My 3-year-old already knows she's going to sell tacos in a cave and marry a Pokemon

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 22, 2015

14 y.o.said she needs T84 calculator for math.

T84? When I was a kid, we had the T-1000. It was liquid metal & stabbed eyes. WAY cooler.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 8, 2016

When I was a kid, I solved a rubix cube by moving the stickers.
My kid uses an app.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 30, 2016

Son, when I was a kid, we didn't have inflatable slides. Our slides were made of metal and they burned your butt on the way down.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 19, 2015

When I was a kid, I had a tennis racquet that I pretended was a guitar. I also had a ping pong paddle that I pretended was a ukulele

— Darin Loves Bacon (@darinlovesbacon) April 20, 2017

5-year-old: What's that?

Me: An origami book. Let me show you how I had fun when I was a kid.

5: I don't want to be sad right now.

— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 27, 2016

Kids today: playing with iPhone and iPad

Me when I was a kid: pic.twitter.com/x23LjzSDNr

— Dailyteenwords (@dailyteenwords) June 25, 2018

We didn't have Web MD when I was a kid, but we did have crazy Aunt Sharon, who used to be a nurse and told you everything is cancer.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 27, 2016

Me: Lets watch the old Mario Bros show on Netflix from when I was a kid!

Daughter: Why is it blurry?

Me: All of the shows used to be blurry.

Daughter: Why is it square?

Me: TVs used to be square.

Daughter: Why isnt it funny or good?

Me: YOU MADE ME WATCH CAILLOU!!

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) March 23, 2018

PG rating today: A Pixar character stubs its toe
PG rating when I was a kid: frontal nudity, minors drink alcohol after Little League game

— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) December 13, 2015

Son, when I was a kid, we didn't have splash pads, we had a "hose." We'd laugh and play and spray each other with lead filled death water.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) June 29, 2017

Explained to kids 10 & 8 that when I was their age we had three ways of communicating--face to face, by phone and by letter. They weren't having it.

— Julia Fierro (@JuliaFierro) January 10, 2018

ugh why can't my kids just chill out on the sofa with some ancient runes and summon the dread-winged goddess like I did when I was their age

— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) September 17, 2016

Son, when I was a kid, we had round headphones had soft sponges on them. And when those wore off, jagged shards of metal would poke into your ears.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 21, 2018

Son: Everyone else has cell phones, Mom.

Me: When I was a kid, you'd play with tigers, and there were no cell phones to call anyone if a tiger attacked you.

Son: Mom that makes no sense.

Me: You're right, it doesn't, but you can't have a cell phone.

— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) February 1, 2018

My son keeps asking what it was like when I was a kid as though I were riding around in a horse drawn carriage or some shit

— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 8, 2018

Kids, when I was a kid we didn't have GPS. We had a device called, "Dad drives around lost until mom yells him to pull over & ask a guy."

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 27, 2016

When I was a kid you were expected to memorize & recite poems. Victor & H think thats nuts. Is this just something ppl w/ limited tv did?

— TheBloggess (@TheBloggess) December 31, 2017

The music kids listen to these days is crap. When I was a kid, I listened to 2Pac scream murder threats at other rappers' children.

— The Dad (@thedad) January 11, 2015

Not everything is getting worse. When I was a kid, the only flavor of chapstick was medicine

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) November 10, 2017

Son, when I was a kid we ate our applesauce in bowls instead of sucking it out of vacuum sealed tubes.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 16, 2016

When I was a kid I'd actually PLAY video games instead of watching strangers play them on YouTube...and I walked uphill both ways to school

— The Walking Dad (@RealDMK) January 19, 2017

I remember packing my bags & threatening to run away when I was a kid.

How come my kids don't do that?

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 12, 2015

Son, when I was a kid, we had songs with lyrics like: "Hip Hop hooray...Hey...Ho...Hey...Ho...Hey...Ho...Hey...Ho..." They just don't write songs like that anymore.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 25, 2018

When I was a kid, we had Weebles. And they would wobble, but not fall down. And that was the limit of our technology.

— Mat Johnson (@mat_johnson) September 14, 2016

Me: When I was a kid they had other shows about the Ewoks.
G: What app did you find them on?
(I couldn't answer with a straight face.)

— Jess (@jessicaesquire) January 8, 2017

Son, when I was a kid we had to listen to an annoying sound for 4 minutes every time we got on the internet and we liked it.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 25, 2017

kids today have it so easy. when i was their age, people my age were self-righteous and had selective memories about childhood.

— John Ramsey (@jtramsey) November 27, 2012