After graduating college, Jacqueline Child like so many other busy 20-something Americans trying to find a partner or a hookup dived into the tumultuous world of dating apps. In 2019, a few weeks after she started actively trying to meet someone, she matched with a guy on Bumble. When they decided to meet in person, he suggested they go for a walk. Jacqueline responded by telling him that she was recovering from a surgery, so a picnic would be better.

When he inquired about the surgery, Jacqueline told him she had a connective tissue disorder. He then responded, Well I hope youre not planning on having children because that would be really selfish. Thats how genetics work.

This was just one of the dozens of offensive messages Jacqueline, a Colorado native, had to stomach as she tried to navigate the toxic world of dating culture as a woman with a disability or chronic illness. And that particular message is not all that uncommon as a young stroke survivor, Ive even been told that online by strangers before, too.

Disabled people attempting to enter their online dating era have to deal with much more than the ignorant comments. There are personal safety concerns (especially for the physically disabled) and the difficulty of navigating online dating platforms. And theres so much more pressure involved in what most people consider the fun part: meeting in person in hopes that the online flirtation translates to real life.

I dont know anyone, disabled or not, who actually enjoys dating apps. For most of us, theyre merely a means to an end. Having to market oneself online with a perfectly curated profile, dealing with frequent rejections and investing hours trying to engage with strangers you may never meet its exhausting.

Those of us who are disabled or have a chronic illness also have to deal with the anxiety that comes along with not knowing how a match will respond to it. How do I tell them? When do I tell them? Will they immediately ghost or reject me? The anxiety around the disclosure of a disability can be paralyzing in itself.

After being called a burden one too many times, Jacqueline started to feel that she might be unworthy of a romantic relationship. One day in 2021, she said to her older sister, Alexa, that she wished there was a legitimate and free dating app specifically designed for disabled and chronically ill people. Alexa, who had seen Jacqueline struggle with hurtful remarks for years, replied, Lets make it ourselves.