If your parenting goal is to raise a little Renaissance Person, youll need to make sure your child receives a well-rounded arts education, including learning how to play a musical instrument.
This means they will be practicing, potentially every day. In your home. And while we live in an age where its possible for a person to play an electronic keyboard for their ears only using a pair of headphones, this sanity-saving technology has yet to be extended to other common childhood instruments like violins, trumpets and that shrieking rite of passage: the recorder.
Here, some of the funniest parents on X (formerly Twitter) describe all-too-aptly what its like to parent through the cacophony.
Welp, today is the last day that I know peace. The last day I hear the birds sing their lovely tune and the sky smiles her decadent shade of blue.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) January 20, 2023
Tomorrow the devil rains his fire upon me. Tomorrow, my 8 year old gets her recorder.
My husband discovered that you can borrow musical instruments from the library and my kids have spent all weekend playing an electric guitar with an amp, in case youre wondering why Im not filing taxes this year
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 26, 2024
The music teacher let my son choose trumpet this year so Im sending him to every extra help session as payback.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 7, 2024
Hear me out, how about a musical instrument that cannot be played badly?
— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) March 8, 2023
4 calls her ukulele a Hookah Larry and Im not correcting her because everyone needs a Hookah Larry in their life, especially if they have to listen to a child learn a musical instrument.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) April 30, 2021
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) October 19, 2023
9-year-old: Want to hear the song I learned on my recorder?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 12, 2022
Me: No thanks.
9: Why not?
Me: My heart can't take that much joy.
Me: I'm so glad I'm done working for the day. Time to relax, have some dinner, maybe watch a little TV.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 18, 2019
Kids: IT'S TRUMPET TIME SUCKAS
My boss just bought my 4yr old a recorder, so the question is do I quit and walk out now or turn in 2 weeks notice?
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) August 18, 2022
You may be tough, but youre not just sat through a 4th grade recorder concert tough.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 14, 2022
My FIL found my husbands childhood trumpet and then asked my 5yo if he wanted it. I dont know what I did for that man to hate me so much, but apparently it was pretty bad.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) January 27, 2024
I dont remember my drivers ed teacher saying anything about merging while a child is playing a recorder in the back seat.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 7, 2023
My wifes upset at me Im going to cheer her up and ask 9YO to play hot cross buns on the recorder
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 6, 2022
8yo played some songs for me on the recorder, and I clapped enthusiastically when she was done, but then she glared at me because it was just the intermission and all Im saying is thank god this venue has wine.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2021
My wife thought it was a good idea to get our kids a set of musical instruments and it may be the worst decision shes ever made in her life.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) August 17, 2023
8: Im going to play my recorder now beautifully. Actually unbeautifully.
— redyellowgreendance (@RYGdance) October 29, 2021
The 3yo just found her brothers old recorder.
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) January 5, 2021
Send help.
I just bought my kid a recorder if youre wondering about my mental state.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) October 19, 2023
the school sent my 7yo home with a recorder and she is foregoing learning actual songs so she can perfect her police and ambulance siren sounds god help me
— Lil Bit (@LizerReal) January 16, 2024
According to the trumpet and singing cactus my ex gifted our children, it's safe to say he still hates me
— Taco Biscuits (@bgschnikelfritz) December 26, 2023
Why were nuclear weapons even invented? If we really want to defeat a country, we should just send drum sets to all their toddlers.
— Lil Bit (@LizerReal) June 16, 2017
Every commercial for noise cancelling headphones should just be happy parents reading a book next to a 3rd-grader practicing the recorder.
— The Dad (@thedad) March 9, 2023
Having kids that play instruments sounds cool until your teen decides to practice drums while youre 6 year old practices piano
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) March 17, 2023
HELP
Establish dominance by buying your 3yo grandchild his first drum set for Christmas.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) December 25, 2018
- Grandparents
Us: Please be nice to Mommy. She's exhausted and doesn't feel well and really needs your help.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) July 17, 2020
What they heard: Be as awful as possible. REALLY turn it up. Try to actually murder each other. If you can involve musical instruments that would be a plus. Can you find any play doh?
The happiest days of my life so far:
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 3, 2019
1. My wedding day
2. When my children were born
3. Today - the day I returned my sons trumpet
Please help my kid just started playing the recorder and stopped to ask me if I like it
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) April 8, 2023
I'd like to formally apologize to the neighbors exposed to my kid's new recorder. I did not purchase it and no, I will not allow it in the house
— Not Another Pinterest Mom (@xennial_mom) September 26, 2022
Raising an 11yo boy means genuinely never knowing when the fart noises from his room are just fart noises, or when hes practicing his trumpet
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) April 10, 2023
My 8yo said she wished there was a way to plug headphones into her recorder so she could play anytime and I will singlehandedly fund any Kickstarter for this project
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 13, 2021
Buy a trumpet so your kid can hide behind the couch and make fart sounds with it.
— hahahaheater (@dishs_up) September 15, 2022
9yo: the school might let me take my recorder home for the whole summer! Wouldnt that be so great?
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) June 6, 2022
Me: The greatest. Nothing better.
I thought moving 6s toy piano into her playroom would lessen the sound but its just an echoing chamber of my regret.
— Marissa (@michimama75) November 17, 2022
8: *plays the recorder*
— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) May 24, 2023
Me: please stop
8: I'm playing Hot Cross Buns
Me: it's terrible
8: *lowers voice & looks me dead in the eyes* well it's going to be your wake up song so
Unconditional love is searching for a 3-year-olds missing drum stick.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) January 5, 2019
You cant make me beg for mercy, youre not my 3rd graders recorder.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) February 7, 2021
Child-sized drum kits are pretty inexpensive, in case you need to buy a gift for a kid whose parents you just fuckin hate
— The Dad (@thedad) December 21, 2021
I used to hate the sound of my alarm clock ringing at 6:30am, until I woke up today to the sound of an 8y.o. blowing a recorder at 6:30am.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 10, 2022
The first dad who heard his kid screaming and shrieking while being forced to play the piano accidentally invented Opera
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 13, 2022
Just when you think youll have peace and quiet because youve finally tracked down and thrown out every kazoo in the house, the kids remember they have a recorder.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) December 20, 2022
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Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
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