Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
My daughter forgot her gym uniform at home. When I arrived at her school to drop it off, I realized I also forgot the uniform.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 5, 2021
I see where she gets it from.
Im sorry but if you come to my house and want something to drink, youre probably gonna need to get a glass from my kids room.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 4, 2021
ok what if youre in the school pickup line and you see a woman eating from a charcuterie board in her car, would you judge me?
— Kiss my Fat Ash (@Tobi_Is_Fab) October 7, 2021
i mean her would you judge her
I asked 4 how school was and she said Freya told her to take a toy home and 4 wasnt sure but Freya said it was fine so 4 hid a toy in her pocket and brought it home and it seems Freyas recruiting her for some kind of kindergarten crime ring
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 5, 2021
I let my toddler play with my phone today so now everything is in Spanish and I have 273 pictures of her left hand
— Lottie-BOO (@Lottie_Poppie) October 7, 2021
So lucky our kids have siblings so theyll always be there for each other, I mutter as I break up another physical fight between my daughters because they both want to be Hermione Granger for Halloween.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 7, 2021
10: Grandma, can you teach Mom how to make this dessert?
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) October 3, 2021
My mom: Oh, she already knows how to make it, sweetie.
10: No. No, she doesn't.
take away my kids electronics for punishment? that's amateur hour. i take my kids to Lowe's for a couple hours.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2021
Ready for another weekend of oversharing with new mom friends at soccer and regretting it later
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) October 2, 2021
I want those snacks that have 2 eyes and a scary mouth
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 5, 2021
-my 3 yo, describing pretzels
Playing board games with your kids and deliberately trying to lose so it ends quicker is a parenting art form
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) October 7, 2021
*Kidzbop song plays*
— Lil Bit (@LizerReal) October 6, 2021
my 4yo: they were to say "fuck"
One way to speed up the school pickup line is to shout, This is the line for the PTA fundraiser
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 6, 2021
Im at a pumpkin patch with my family, is $48 a good deal for a pumpkin?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 2, 2021
Give a man a cup of rice, feed him for a day. Give a toddler a cup of rice, step on it for a week.
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 6, 2021
11- I cant wait to have chemistry in High School so we can make potions and spells
— Maryfairyboberry (@maryfairybobrry) October 6, 2021
Me- Unfortunately I dont think you ever received your acceptance letter for that particular school
my children wish to inform you they will be deceased from hunger before dinner if they do not have a second after school snack
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 4, 2021
Absolutely no one:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 7, 2021
My kid: isnt it weird how no one ever really knows when theyre in the middle of their life
(Watching the new James Bond Trailer)
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) October 2, 2021
Daughter 9: Wow. There is so much reckless driving happening here.
Whenever another parent asks me if they should let their kid play Minecraft, I always tell them yes because I'm petty and angry and I want them to listen to their kids fight and speak gibberish and suffer as much as I do.
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) October 7, 2021
My 5yo asked if I had ice cream in the house, and when I said no he glared at me with the intensity of a pint-size hypoglycemic commando and said Tomorrow you go to the store and BUY SOME
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) October 7, 2021
Sorry I never responded to the text you sent; my 5-year-old just finished telling me a story that started on Friday.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 4, 2021
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make even as little as $2 goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
_(720p).jpg)
 OFFICIAL HD MUSIC VIDEO.jpg)
.jpg)
